One Team Begins with Us: Communication, Inclusion and Self-Care in a Time of Political Unrest and Social Conflict
By Carol Broughton Carter, MBA, LMT, Executive and Professional Coach, Certified Neuroscience and Relational Trauma Coach
We are nearly two-thirds of the way through 2026, and it feels like the world is in chaos. I don’t know about you, but I am a little burned out on politics, and some days I just want to pull the covers over my head and hug my cat. I resent those who see things differently than I do. I worry about so much that is happening in the world. I want my political party to address all my concerns, not just some of them. And then I remember I’m telling myself a story of hopelessness and overwhelm. What do I really know about the world today? What action is Life asking of me now?
We Stopped Listening to Each Other as a Culture
What I know about the world today is that we have stopped hearing each other. We talk at each other without listening. We have stopped seeing people with different views as individuals who likely want the same thing for their families as we want for ours. We are pulled to exhaustion by politicians vying for our attention and telling us who to blame for our troubles rather than looking for bipartisan ways to solve them. We feel helpless and project our fears and judgments onto others, even those within our own party. The depersonalization of projection can sting and cause separation. It shuts down communication and understanding. For example, I’m a Baby Boomer, and some people make assumptions about who I am without taking the time to find out. They think I am their idea of who a Boomer is and leave it at that. Instead of having a relationship with me, they are having a relationship with their idea of who I am based on a generalization or stereotype. But then I hear that people voted for a political candidate that I have little respect for. What do I do? I make assumptions about them without finding out who they are or how they feel, also depersonalizing them. This behavior of not really communicating gets us nowhere fast! We are in a cycle of blame, shame and depersonalization.
Communication:
These communication busters create an environment of blame, shame and exclusion:
Unclear intentions, ambiguous agendas
Biases, unchallenged assumptions and judgments we hold about others
Lack of self-awareness of the influences on us of our inner critic, our self of self, past experiences, triggers
Lack of awareness and patience with the fact that others bring their baggage to a conversation, too.
These communication enhancers create an environment of compassion, understanding and inclusion:
Don’t decide ahead of time who someone is. Listen and find out. Be curious.
If we are judgmental, they will feel it and put up walls protecting themselves from shame and pain. Be curious and discover.
Be patient with others’ reactions that are likely not about us. The space we create of compassion, empathy and nonjudgment is one in which hostility cannot thrive.
Be patient with different communication styles, whether generational, cultural, or some other demographic. There are as many ways to communicate as there are people. It is our call to action to be the change we want to see in the world.
Healthy communication is worth the investment – and necessary if we wish to operate as One Team, building a coalition of cooperation, influence and positive change:
Real change begins with us. We can humanize ourselves and our environment again by practicing enhanced communication skills.
Our nervous systems stay at peace with good communication, and we can think and hear better when we are calm.
Our offering of deep listening and empathy is contagious. People who feel heard will turn and pass it on to others. We can influence our communities by managing our “communication by example”.
As One Team, we can shift from blame to solution, working together to meet our needs and move forward as a community to advance our collective goals.
Listening and Speaking as One Team Builds Momentum in the Same Direction
What I feel Life is asking of me today is to overcome my personal obstacles to being part of One Team by employing clear and empathetic communication.
Will any one party represent to the letter the desires of every constituent? No.
Can we advance more nuanced goals once there is an ability to affect change with Democrats in office? Yes. But we must fill the positions first.
For example, there are things I have vehemently disagreed with in our top Democratic leadership, but I would rather work to get the ear of Democrats we place in office than continue with leadership like our current administration.
I can also continue my advocacy work on the issues that matter the most. One Team and advocacy are not mutually exclusive.
I will put my passion into One Team, fighting for our Democratic candidates with the time, talent and treasure I can afford.
Nonviolent Communication
If we wish to operate as One Team, I believe a focus on Nonviolent Communication is essential. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a communication framework developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. NVC focuses on honest self-expression and empathetic listening through four key components: observations, feelings, needs and requests. The goal is to resolve conflicts and build connections without blame, shame, or judgment. As I think of this, I realize I’ve done some of this in my life as I’ve matured, but if I am still projecting on others without learning about them, I still have work to do!
Dr. Rosenberg has written several books available in print, electronic and audio, on various aspects of his framework. He has also generously made available numerous lectures on NVC that you can find on YouTube. After he passed away in 2015, a global organization, the Center for Nonviolent Communication, continues to educate people on his work. I think it could be fun to do a study group on his work. A starting point would be his book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. I would be glad to host a weekly Zoom group if there is interest. Email me at CarolCarterCoaching@gmail.com.
If we can learn NVC in our homes, then in our party interactions, then in discussions with the public, we can bring a depth of peace and mutual understanding to our lives, families and communities. We can focus on needs and how to meet them. We can stop wasting our time in arguments and judgments that go nowhere and lead to burnout.
Burnout and Self-Care
Let’s talk about self-care and burnout. It is hard to communicate well or be empathetic when we are burned out, exhausted from living in a world of conflict. I left a 48-year career in finance three years ago, completely burned out. My poor brain was fried, and I had zero margin to handle stressors that I used to eat for breakfast.
Here are some things I learned.
Burnout is a big deal. It affected my energy, overall health, and it even interfered with cognition and memory for a while. I got a bad case of shingles and then a year and a half of post herpetic neuralgia (extreme nerve pain). I became deeply depressed and unmotivated. It took me three years to recover from burnout.
I loved the energy of being very engaged and busy at work and bought into the illusion that I didn’t need much down time, so clearly my judgment was affected. The stress profoundly affected my sleep, and I found myself getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night. That was not sustainable. Recent studies show that sleep is one of our protections against dementia as the glymphatic system that removes waste from the brain while we sleep requires 7-9 hours of sleep every night to do its job.
“Three determinants of burnout are emotional exhaustion, reduced accomplishment, and depersonalization” (Hendricksen, Ellen. 7 Ways to Recover from Burnout, Psychology Today, 2021.) Notice the common theme between poor communication and burnout: depersonalization.
I learned that burnout can be prevented with good self-care hygiene.
What are the steps to avoid or recover from burnout?
Our bodies function optimally with some movement, good nutrition and restorative sleep.
Our brains are happiest in connection with others, so maintaining social connections is important (another practice that reduces the risk of dementia).
Our brains enjoy novelty and imagination. It helps to diversify our interests and activities, to turn off the tv sometimes and read a book (another practice that reduces the risk of dementia).
Our bodies require healthy work life balance. Our employee assistance plans at work will have resources to educate us on what that looks like. We can also find articles on the subject with an Internet search, such as the article quoted above by Dr. Ellen Hendricksen.
Summary
Poor communication and lack of self-care can lead to a depersonalization of others, causing lack of understanding, empathy, and a foundation on which to build change. A commitment to nonviolent communication and self-care can help us humanize each other and build a community of harmony as One Team. Functioning as One Team will strengthen our Denton County Democratic Party, building momentum toward our shared goals with faith that once Democrats fill more seats, we can affect the positive change we wish to see in our world.
The solution is entirely in our hands. The commitment to nonviolent communication and self-care as One Team begins with us.
Favorite Resources
Rosenberg, Marshall B. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships. PuddleDancer Press, 2015.
Amodeo, John. The Power of Gentle Presence. The Stephen John Press, 2025.
Rutledge, Thom. The Self Forgiveness Handbook. Booklocker.com, 2015.
Rutledge, Thom. Embracing Fear: How to Turn What Scares Us into Our GREATEST GIFT. HarperOne, 2005.
Berger, Allen. 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety. Fourth Dimension Publishing, 2021.
Katie, Byron. Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. Harmony, 2021.
Additional Resources
Each of the people whose books I referenced above have interesting videos available on YouTube.
Thom Rutledge, psychotherapist, author, speaker, consultant, www.ThomRutledge.com, (see two of his books above) has some free PDFs on his website about Politics and many other things. Thom and I are doing a monthly no charge Zoom workshop on Emotional Fluency where we have discussions and demonstrations on, among other topics, how to manage our relationship with our inner critics. Email me if interested and I’ll add you to the email list for announcements of future workshops.
Thom Rutledge and Allen Berger (see one of Allen’s books above) host a free weekly Thursday night Zoom workshop on Emotional Sobriety. The Facebook group is entitled Emotional Sobriety and Recovery. Ask to join the group on Facebook and I’ll let you in. There are notes in the FB group showing where to listen to Thom and Allen’s weekly workshop and weekly podcast and where to go to listen to archived workshops (over six years of workshops) and archived weekly podcasts. If you are not on Facebook, email me and I’ll send links.
I am available for coaching for hire for individuals and groups. Reach me at CarolCarterCoaching@gmail.com
